The Bounce-Back
Tonight I attended an outdoor pilates class hosted by a close friend. Near the start of the class she said, “just let go of the day” and I didn’t realize until that moment just how much I needed to let go.
Earlier in the week, I started to feel a bit anxious — it felt like there wasn’t enough time in the day for work, social aspects, and carving out that “me time” that’s so vital to my success as a human in everything I do. And then anxiety layered on top of existing anxiety, snowballing. I started thinking… I don’t even have a partner or a family yet, and I’m already feeling this way? Worries floated up to the surface with wondering how I would ever find more energy and time to show up for others one day.
“One day” is the key word here. I know it’s not good to worry about future anxieties — trust me, I know. At the end of the day, we don’t know how they’ll unfold and there’s nothing we can do to control them. This type of worrying typically causes more grief than good, but we also can’t control how we feel sometimes. We know how we should react and that we shouldn’t worry about future things, but sometimes that’s just how it goes.
I’ve said this before, but I think it’s important to have the awareness of this, so that we’re not allowing our feelings to get the best of us. But it’s unlikely we can avoid feeling anxious altogether — it’s just one of those feelings that is a fact of life. And I actually think it’s a good thing because it serves as a red flag to ourselves that something is not OK and that something might need re-evaluation. Being able to notice when things are off-kilter is a skill, as is having the willpower to want to try and change them.
I’m realizing more and more that writing is how I clean my slate — writing is how I fill my cup. I believe it genuinely brings me more relief and is more of a release than talking about my worries with others. Writing gives me the opportunity to have frank conversations with myself — to raise my own red flags and call myself on my bullshit. It gives me space to analyze, to reflect, and to correct.
You know best what grounds you and brings you back — pause, do that. Do a killer workout and get your sweat on, zen the F out with a favourite yoga flow or meditation, get out into nature, write it out, do a freaking cartwheel if that’s what does the trick! (sometimes it’s this one for me…)
I think the most important lesson here is not to avoid these moments of discomfort and anxiety — it’s OK to feel different feelings, even the not so good ones. But what matters more is the bounce-back — how quickly can you get back to “you”?
There’s a quote that always stood out to me from Gilmore Girls, each time I’ve re-watched the show: “A setback is really just a set-up for future accomplishments.” This is very similar to the more popular Slingshot Analogy, which essentially says that sometimes you need to take a step back in order to launch yourself forward again.
Setbacks aren’t really setbacks, they’re just indicators — your body’s way of saying, hey you, something might not be right. Whether it’s an unfavourable event, bad luck, or a cluster of negative feelings, how do you launch yourself forward again?