Clean Slate
Do you set yourself a Word of the Year? I wrote about this in last January’s post, but I’ve never been big on New Year’s resolutions — I much prefer choosing a theme for the year vs. setting specific resolutions. Last year, my word was INTENTIONAL. I think I did a good and honest job of sticking to it.
I concluded that January 2022 post saying, “Make sure the choices you make for yourself are backed by intent. So when it’s December 31st again, what will you be happy or proud that you did for yourself this year? Do that — start now.” Looking back on last year, I can confidently say that I really did approach so many facets of my life thoughtfully, with intent. As a result, I saw a ton of growth in myself, which I’m so proud of having experienced. I’ve seen first-hand that the work works.
I began reflecting on what I’ve learned over the past year in my December post, but as I’ve been thinking back on the year even more, more learnings came to me:
Sometimes things just aren’t going to work out, even if you give it your all.
No one can un-learn your bad habits for you.
A few deep breaths and a walk around the block really can solve a lot.
I wrote in-depth about this a couple weeks ago, but self-talk is everything — everything we are, everything we do stems from it. Be kind to yourself.
There is usually more to be learned when things don’t go well vs. when they do go well.
Create whatever you are called to create — it makes you a fuller person.
You’ll handle whatever you have to handle.
We’ve all had bad things happen to us — maybe we don’t all label it trauma with a capital T, but it’s the truth. It’s on us to sort through the things that have happened to us to help future versions of ourselves.
There is great value in writing things down. By writing things down (goals, hopes, to-do’s, manifestations, whatever they may be), you are making a mini “contract” with yourself, committing to yourself and making it real.
Date yourself. Date your friends. Spend time tending to your most important relationships.
It’s OK to enjoy when things are going well — in fact, you deserve to enjoy when things are going well.
Stop having relationship-level conversations with people who don’t want to be in a relationship with you. Remember your worth, remember that your time is valuable — remember that you do have so much to give to the right person.
Life isn’t always great — we all go through seasons. However, life really is quite wonderful — strive to see the good.
Before the end of 2022, I came across this Jay Shetty podcast episode: 7 Powerful Questions to Successfully Reflect on 2022 & End the Year with Confidence — it felt perfectly timed, as I was reflecting on the year. The questions he posed didn’t seem to be clichés, but instead felt very thoughtful and I actually enjoyed answering them — I’d recommend going through each question yourself.
What is the challenge that you’ve overcome this year? Finally learning (realllly learning) not to chase people — when someone speaks their truth or shows you who they are, trust it. Which leads to…
What’s a surprise you dealt with? Unpredictable scenarios. I’ve learned that sometimes people come into/leave your life unpredictably and beyond your control. Sometimes we just have to let people go. It’s a lesson I’m continually learning, but my first a-ha! moment on this was prompted by one of Mark Manson’s blog posts (he’s the author of the book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck).
What is something you bought this year? Books — I’ll always see a good book (especially a personal development one) as an investment in me. Trip to Portugal with my closest friends — no explanation needed!
What’s the best book/podcast you read/listened to?
Book: How to Be an Adult in Relationships by David Richo — I feel like this should be required reading for everyone.
Podcast: I’ve mentioned Jay Shetty a few times now, but his podcast episode 8 Rules of Love (also the title of his forthcoming book!) is one that sticks out to me — it had so many good nuggets on how our relationships change and evolve, and I wrote down several quotes while listening to it.
What are your blind spots for next year? Not in a fearful way, but turning 30 in the spring! — navigating the uncertainty and unknown of what lies ahead, as I enter a new decade.
What made you the happiest this year? Concerts. Especially after all the closures and restrictions of the past couple years, concerts felt extra special. Some favourites were: Mt. Joy, The Lumineers, Ingrid Andress, Ocie Elliott + Hollow Coves, Lauv, and a Fleetwood Mac cover band.
Who’s the person you couldn’t have gotten through this year without? It’s hard to pick just one, but it’s definitely my closest friends — I’ve learned and seen that the right people will stay by your side.
We’re about a week into the new year now. For 2023, the word that called to me was CONNECT. I love how much depth there is to this word and how many iterations of it there are — connect, connection, disconnect, connect the dots, interconnected, reconnect. It’s a living, breathing word with room for so much possibility.
Connect with others — This year, I’m aiming to connect with others as much and as often as possible. I want to continue being vulnerable and sharing my work with others, in the hope that people feel seen and can connect to what I’m writing about. I’m also hoping to connect romantically, in a meaningful and lasting way.
Disconnect — This year, I hope to have a better understanding of when disconnecting is actually the correct and better choice.
Connect the dots — This year, I’m hoping that everything starts to connect in a bigger way and that the bigger picture begins to make more sense.
Reconnect with myself — This year, I’m hoping to come into my own even more, continuing to follow my passions to feel aligned with my purpose.
Interconnected — This year, I hope to gain more appreciation for the fact that our lives are all intertwined. I believe we can all relate to one another far more than we differ from one another.
While I don’t necessarily commit to New Year’s resolutions, I do always view each new year as a new opportunity, a deep breath, a clean slate.
I’m feeling some kind of way this year. I feel a spark in my life. I feel a renewed sense of purpose. I feel strong and energized and unstoppable.
On a walk this past weekend, I listened to (yet) another Jay Shetty podcast episode, in conversation with Roxie Nafousi — it was a great listen that centres on manifestation, but takes a very practical approach. It’s a long one, but I highly recommend it. I’m a firm believer that, when you decide to focus on something in your life and put energy towards it, it starts popping up everywhere. Jay used the word “connect” (or variations of it) a few times on the episode and it felt so meant-to-be for me, reminding me that I’m already on the right track this year. He said it so well: “I don’t want something from someone — I want to connect to them.”
Happy New Year! — let’s make it a good one!