The Good Life

Earlier today, I finished A Guide to the Good Life by William B. Irvine. This philosophical book overflows with wisdom and was one of those moments for me where you’re reading the right book at the right time — I needed this book this week.

I often use things I read or hear as jumping off points for my writing. I’m evaluative of what I read and I enjoy books that engage me and spark my thoughts. That was exactly the case here.

I’ve long been of the mentality of “no expectations, no disappointments”. I remember in the past, being told by someone close to me that this mindset of mine was utterly pessimistic. On the flip side, I like to think that it’s just realistic — I’m a realist. If we live in this manner, it’s not that we’re actually expecting or hoping for the worst, but rather that we will be more “OK” if the worst is the outcome that happens, because we’ve already approached it as a possibility. You become trained in wanting and actually getting less, and, as a result, you start living a more joyful life in which you get a sense of fulfilment from less.

Irvine’s teachings hail from the Stoics — an underlying theme of the book is about learning to live with less. I am learning to be more grateful with having less. I still, of course, enjoy having and seek to have nice things, but I’m more mindful about trying to control my desire for them — I try not to get too caught up in the lust of having or wanting too much. Everything in moderation, as they say.

This year is also teaching me a lot about this. Naturally, there are so many things that have been and are still off the table in our day-to-day lives, and I’m trying to be more content with the things we do have. By living this way, it will also make everything so much sweeter when we get to experience it again.

I think this “Stoic” way of living for me was brought about by breaking my foot a few years ago. It was something I accepted right away, with the thinking, “okay, this is what my situation is” and realized I had the choice to decide how to approach the situation. Of course, this is not a fun or ideal scenario for anyone, but you can choose how you approach it.

I remember being very focused on and committed to the physical therapy exercises given to me from the doctor, wanting to be able to recover as soon as my body was able to. I tried not to fall into the patient/“victim” role too much, with the understanding that if I wanted to see change, I had to take action. The hard thing isn’t fun to do, but it’s what brings about progress. The first couple weeks everything felt hopeless with no end in sight and I remember feeling stupid for not being able to do the simplest movement, like scrunching up my toes. It’s hard to feel motivated to make progress when the progress is hard to make, but it was one of those things (like anything) that got easier over time — the first cut is the deepest.

Apart from our actions, so much also comes down to our mindset. These days, my thinking when something “bad” happens is rarely of the “this sucks” variety, but more neutral — it’s more like, “huh, okay, that’s interesting”. In seemingly unfavourable situations, I instead now find myself thinking about what I can learn from the experience.

“Bad” things can (and still will) happen to you, but you have the power to choose whether to think good thoughts or bad thoughts in your life. So why not fill your head and your days with positive thoughts?