Twenty-Eight
Last week, I turned twenty-eight. Another year older, another birthday in a pandemic — it’s been strange, but it’s been great. Birthdays always make me extra introspective and evaluative of my life.
I sit here on the couch listening to Led Zeppelin IV on vinyl — a birthday gift from a close friend. I’ve been thinking a lot about growing older. Aging is one of those things that you can’t stop, can’t truly slow down. It’s such an odd concept to grapple with. I still feel so young on the inside and maybe always will — spry, a kid at heart — and I like to think my essence and vibe reflect that as well. But then I see a new line, a new wrinkle and am reminded that this is all inevitable — I don’t curse it at all and wouldn’t change any of it, but it just makes you think.
To me, it’s hard to grasp that I started university nearly ten years ago. Where did that time go? What have I accomplished since? What have I learned? Who have I become? More importantly, am I proud of who I’ve become?
Time is a funny thing. The past ten years seem to have flown by, but when I think back, truly so much occurred during those years. Relationships, breakups, trips, self-growth, new jobs, losses and heartbreak, new life, graduations, adventures, lessons learned. I am proud of the person I have become and the person I am continually in the process of becoming. Naturally, through this time, there were rough patches and things I cursed and dwelled on at the time, but it all played a part — I gained from those experiences what I needed to.
My favourite quote has long been, “Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn” (John C. Maxwell). Simply put, either things go the way you wanted them to or you learn something more valuable, the latter often being the more necessary outcome. So much of life is about mindset, about attitude — it’s about the way you show up. It’s also about being intentional and evaluative, since we are always in a state of flux.
As I’ve grown older and especially over the past year, I’ve become a lot more picky about what I choose to invest my energy in — be that in the context of relationships, friendships, work, plans. Time and energy are our most valuable resources, and I want to be mindful of how I’m spending both of those resources personally.
Something I am still learning and working on is this: don’t just keep company to have company. Take a step back to evaluate situations. Ask yourself, is this person or experience adding to your life? Are there times where you might actually be better off in your own company?
On the flip side, I do sometimes worry about being too selective. I worry about the fact that I haven’t yet found someone I like enough, with whom things have lasted — someone I want to choose to spend my life with. I think about this more and more as the years roll on. Whenever it does get me a little down, I remind myself that keeping company just to have company is not always the right move. I am more concerned with finding someone who is most “right” for me, as opposed to just being with someone to check off that box. Sure, we all get lonely and it’s lovely to have someone, but there’s also a lot of growth and discovery that can be found during these times spent on our own.
Well, hello, twenty-eight. Another year older, another year (hopefully) wiser. The good times and the bad, the mistakes and lessons learned, the peaks and the valleys — I welcome it all with open arms. I have a good feeling about what this year holds and can’t wait to see it all play out.